Healing Together: A Weekend of Comfort and Community at Camp Erin DFW

“My wife passed about a year and a half ago. It was as devastating of an event as I could have imagined, and as we started hospice care for her, Rachel was quick to suggest the group for us, as one of my early concerns was my children. I may not have been as enthusiastic about attending group, but I knew I had to suck it up and attend just to make sure my children had a resource to help them process the loss of their mother. Over time, I began to come out of my shell and the fog of grief began to lift, so much so that I hope my kids never get tired of attending group, because I think I may get more out of attending than they do at this point. 

When we were presented with the idea of Camp Erin last year, I was still deep in the depths of my grief and unsure what my children and I might need. However, seeing their comfort level at group convinced me to give camp a try, so we went. It was a lot heavier than I expected it to be. I kept to myself for much of the free time, didn’t converse with many other people, and just made sure my kids were okay. They enjoyed all the activities and we all thought it was a great escape from our normal routine. It was really heavy at times, but also very much a reminder of how much I missed my wife and how much had changed in half a year. I was glad we attended, surrounded ourselves with others who understood, but to be honest I may not have been fully prepared for camp and most definitely wasn’t as open/forthcoming while attending. 

Fast forward a year, and the opportunity to attend again was presented to us, and without hesitation I put our name on the list. I think it’s a great opportunity and would have gladly given up our spot for a new family, but we were honored to be able to go again. This year I went in with a renewed spirit and in a much better mind space. I’m generally very shy and introverted, but I made sure to open up more and try to connect with some of the new families who were attending for the first time. I had been there before, I knew how isolating some of these events can be, so I wanted to make sure some of the newcomers felt that they weren’t alone. And I can say without a doubt that this last camp was much more healing for my soul and an amazing resource for us all. I was more present in the moment, I was much more aware of not only my grief but that of others, and it was a perfect weekend getaway surrounded by so many helpful volunteers and families. My kids had a blast, I really felt like I came out of my comfort zone, and when I got back home, the heaviness I felt last year wasn’t present. It was so healing and wonderful. In fact, some of the attendees and I have vowed to try to stay in touch and find a weekend we can all get together again, since we doubt we will be lucky enough to attend Camp Erin again next year. (Camp Erin prioritizes new families’ attendance each year).

The impact that both group and camp have had on my children and I has been huge. I am in a couple grief social media groups and I see so many other widowed people who don’t have a resource like this available to them on other parts of the country, and I see how alone they all feel. To know that my children and I have been lucky enough to surround ourselves with these amazing volunteers and families is something I do not take for granted. After my wife died, the thing that has been the hardest to overcome has been the overwhelming loneliness. By attending camp and these groups, and coming home from this second camp with some names and numbers of other families who are going through something similar, it has helped immensely with the loneliness, and I can’t stress enough how much of a blessing that alone has been. To feel seen and heard again, understood? I would attend camp Erin into perpetuity if it was an option. It really has been such a blessing for my kids and I and we couldn’t be more grateful. 

My kids have both come home at different times during the school year, complaining about how none of the other kids in their class have lost a parent. I can imagine that is quite an isolating feeling that they must experience. So to be able to provide a safe environment for them, one where they don’t feel as alone or different, it really is special. 

My daughter, Harper, has stated this exact thing when I asked her to talk about Camp Erin and what she liked so much about it. She said she doesn’t feel as alone when she is around other kids who understand. Finley, my son, focused more on the activities they were able to do. Besides the fun things like the blob or making s’mores, he really did enjoy writing a letter to his mama, then burning it in the fire so the smoke would rise and reach her. And making the lanterns and putting them out on the water was a beautiful thing that stood out to him as well. It really was a beautiful thing. I know that all other Camp Erins are generally camps intended only for kids to attend, but the fact that this one allows entire families to attend feels so special and I could not be more grateful for the opportunity to attend twice.”

Justin Menezes, Camp Erin DFW attendee and father of Harper and Finley